embracing moving with ease.
"Slow down; I just wanna get to know you." Bobby Valentino.
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Everything everywhere is happening so fast that in the process of participating in the culture of instant gratification I forgot how to appreciate the beauty in slowing down. During childhood, there seemed to be a relentless sense of urgency; thus, I thought adults loved to hustle and bustle. With maturation I realized that hustling and bustling was something our ancestors were taught to emulate because capitalism told us that in order to survive we had to do everything we could in the 24 hours we were given.
The reality for me is that there is no goal in my life of such great importance for me to achieve that I must move and live with aggressive and impetuous energy. This is not to say that I do not believe in preparing for the future or saving for a rainy day; this is saying, however, that choosing to impulsively create, decide, or execute something will not make the future arrive any faster. If anything, my absence of attention to detail and failure to prepare properly with the time I do have will set me up to fail as enegertically as I was completing the task given. Ultimately, the rush is not worth the risk.
Rushing simply satisfies my ego’s selfish thirst for constant instant gratification. My ego wants to say, “We did it. We showed them. We came, saw, and conquered.” What did we do exactly? Because, when we were rushing we missed that the eyes of the cute front desk worker at the gym were a deep dark brown. In rushing to be in my own world, I missed the moments when my parents started to age; I would have noticed that the elasticity of their skin was changing and that their hair was beginning to gray. In rushing, I would have noticed that the bananas I bought weeks ago grew sour. Could I have not slowed down and made the smoothie like I promised myself I would? All for what? Because I want to get somewhere, be someone, or doing something as quickly as I can? Where is the joy in that when the process of doing something is, sometimes, more important than the outcome of the something I am doing? Shoot, the process of doing something is the reason that the desired outcome exists.
Slow and steady will win this race because there is no physical finish line; there is only death. Why would I choose to rush to death when I know it will meet me one day anyway? I cannot escape the reality that the world has been crashing and burning since its inception; thus, I cannot afford to be afraid of death. I can afford to pay attention because my past has already paid the ultimate price to bring me to the current moment I am living in. Why not slow down? Why not move with ease and intention? This way, I can feel what I feel when I feel it. I can see, smell, and taste what I am eating while it is in front of me. I can remember the experience for more than the worst of its times. I can be with the person who is front of me without attempting to control nor rush the development of the relationship.
As long as I am alive, life is not going anywhere; and if I am going anywhere, it will be with ease. Ease and intention.
Leisurely,
Renae.